| Everyone knows about sexual predators. | | | | best it's a nuisance. At worst it's downright |
| Primarily male, they are physically | | | | offensive.Of course, some women just don't |
| aggressive--leering suggestively, staring | | | | see the problem in what they're doing. |
| inappropriately, going for the | | | | "Isn't it great," they say, |
| "accidental" grope, and generally | | | | "to find that incredible connection with |
| making a nuisance (or worse) of themselves. | | | | someone you can just share everything |
| But in the world of dating, there is another | | | | with?" Yes, it is. But a healthy |
| unsightly, though somewhat less hideous beast | | | | emotional connection takes time to develop, |
| that remains largely unaddressed: the | | | | even if you have an immediate sense of the |
| emotional predator.If a sexual predator comes | | | | possibilities.Put it this way, I wouldn't |
| on too strong sexually, an emotional predator | | | | want a guy to expose his most intimate |
| comes on too strong emotionally. This is the | | | | physical assets on our first date, no matter |
| person--here, women are the more frequent | | | | how hot he might be. And that guy you happen |
| offenders--who stares at you across the table | | | | to like doesn't want you exposing your most |
| on your first date in loving adoration. She | | | | intimate secrets either, no matter how much |
| is convinced that the two of you are soul | | | | he might like you back.Both physical and |
| mates before the appetizers arrive, and by | | | | emotional intimacy are worth working up to. |
| desert--if you've managed not to flee in | | | | And a little mystery is intriguing. Half the |
| terror--she will be naming your | | | | fun of dating is slowly peeling back the |
| children.Perhaps the problem has not been | | | | layers--of both clothing and personality--to |
| addressed directly because the offense is | | | | reveal the human being underneath. So don't |
| harder to prove. ("Officer, arrest that | | | | be in such a rush, ladies. Make him work for |
| woman! She looked at me like she wanted to | | | | it a little. If you want him to respect you |
| marry me!") Or perhaps emotional | | | | enough to build that physical intimacy in a |
| harassment is just easier to ignore until it | | | | slow and enticing way, then you need to |
| rises to the level of stalking, at which | | | | respect him enough to build that emotional |
| point the law will step in. But even at | | | | bond with the same care and |
| lesser levels of emotional intensity, | | | | consideration.Good things come to those who |
| emotional predators can cause a lot of | | | | wait. Sex and friendship are no exceptions. |
| discomfort. At the very least, they can get | | | | Build those foundations slowly and carefully, |
| in their own way...Where sexual predators are | | | | together. Then whatever you build on top of |
| too aggressive in seeking the sexual | | | | them will last a lifetime.--EM Sky has been a |
| connection they crave, emotional predators | | | | math instructor for The Johns Hopkins |
| drive people away by being too aggressive in | | | | University, a special effects technician in |
| seeking emotional intimacy. The problem can | | | | Hollywood, a project manager for BellSouth, |
| arise in both personal and professional | | | | and a rock climbing instructor in Atlanta. |
| settings, from the frightening first date who | | | | She even tried being a lawyer for a while, |
| wants to elope to the depressing office | | | | but fortunately she came to her senses. Now |
| worker who wants to tell you her whole sad | | | | she is an author, writing on business, life, |
| life story in your first day on the job. At | | | | and society for the whole human being. |